The Talk I Gave Myself
Current mood: amused
Things fall away so fast. Times change, and before you know it you're all tangled up in a world youre unfamiliar with. The fear sets in. The doubt rises up in your stomach as if it you had just eaten the most vile piece of trash. Then, it camps in your throat and stays there. You see your friends moving on with their lives, with school, with jobs, and moving out of their parents houses and begin to think that youre a loser. When its al embedded so deep in your mind that the shame makes you want to curl up in a ball, it gets worse. That is when you start defending it. Thats when you start making any and every excuse to yourself, in your head, that its not that bad to be twentysomething and living with your parents with no job. Thats when you start to take your failures out on other people. You get bitchy. You stop telling your mom she isnt wrong when she blames herself for letting you quit school and not making you go to therapy. You know the truth. You know its all on you. You also know youre defeated, that youre sick and tired of being a loser and if someone else wants to take the blame for you, then by all means go right ahead.
But, thats not right. Its not their fault. Its all on you. You made yourself a loser, and you are the only one who can fix that.
So you need to pick your ass up, dust it off, and remedy the situation youre ashamed to be in. It wont get any better if you dont. When it all comes down to it, you can do one of two thing with the feelings you dont like having about yourself: A) You can accept them. Stay in your safety zone and dont do shit about any of it. B) Change them. You can think about what you think would make you happy. It might take a few tries to find what actually DOES make you happy, but its going to be worth it.
If you choose A you will probably die miserable and alone with people resenting you almost as much as you hate yourself. You will be on the inside looking out the window to the world. If you choose B, you take a chance. Fuck looking out the window and wishing you were outside playing in the world, you step out onto the ledge and jump onto the trampoline below and land right beside that big pile of dog shit instead of in it.
This would be the talk I gave myself a while ago.
I felt like posting it for the hell of it.
Things fall away so fast. Times change, and before you know it you're all tangled up in a world youre unfamiliar with. The fear sets in. The doubt rises up in your stomach as if it you had just eaten the most vile piece of trash. Then, it camps in your throat and stays there. You see your friends moving on with their lives, with school, with jobs, and moving out of their parents houses and begin to think that youre a loser. When its al embedded so deep in your mind that the shame makes you want to curl up in a ball, it gets worse. That is when you start defending it. Thats when you start making any and every excuse to yourself, in your head, that its not that bad to be twentysomething and living with your parents with no job. Thats when you start to take your failures out on other people. You get bitchy. You stop telling your mom she isnt wrong when she blames herself for letting you quit school and not making you go to therapy. You know the truth. You know its all on you. You also know youre defeated, that youre sick and tired of being a loser and if someone else wants to take the blame for you, then by all means go right ahead.
But, thats not right. Its not their fault. Its all on you. You made yourself a loser, and you are the only one who can fix that.
So you need to pick your ass up, dust it off, and remedy the situation youre ashamed to be in. It wont get any better if you dont. When it all comes down to it, you can do one of two thing with the feelings you dont like having about yourself: A) You can accept them. Stay in your safety zone and dont do shit about any of it. B) Change them. You can think about what you think would make you happy. It might take a few tries to find what actually DOES make you happy, but its going to be worth it.
If you choose A you will probably die miserable and alone with people resenting you almost as much as you hate yourself. You will be on the inside looking out the window to the world. If you choose B, you take a chance. Fuck looking out the window and wishing you were outside playing in the world, you step out onto the ledge and jump onto the trampoline below and land right beside that big pile of dog shit instead of in it.
This would be the talk I gave myself a while ago.
I felt like posting it for the hell of it.
posted by •°killsXecaustic™ at 9/08/2006 07:20:00 AM
1 Comments:
good advice. wish i could follow it
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